Writing for Tears - The Onion Approach

Sorry, this post is not about The Onion (link)--the satirical newspaper. Instead, I was thinking this morning about craft and writing and my own evolution as a writer.

Coming from a journalism background, my biggest challenge as a novelist was slowing down. I'd been trained to get to the point fast. Give the most important point first. Don't bury the lede! No extraneous details, no side-trips into smells or tastes...

I know. Some feature writers flower their prose a bit, and tempering that is part of the craft of feature writing, but for the most part, news reporting is bare bones. Just the facts, ma'am.

Then I started writing books, and I was all, "This person has to get from Point A to Point B to Resolution C after Shocking Revelation D."

I'd sit down and pound it all out, and while it was entertaining, my early readers were all, "I've got a whiplash this happened so fast!"

I wasn't giving anybody time to think or feel about what was happening, to process. I wasn't peeling back the layers slow enough. I wasn't giving my readers time to cry. (Get the onion part now? I made that up, fyi.)

I have some writer friends with the exact opposite problem. They write too many words, and their biggest task is going back and cut cut cutting all the fat so they're  not boring you to death or filling your head with a lot of unnecessary details.

Going on Year 4 as an author, my second as a full-time novelist, my first drafts still often come out with "fast patches"--parts that need to slow down to provide the full emotional effect.

I'm still learning to think like a symphony conductor. Have the Big Fast Loud part followed by a quiet, thoughtful spot.

The good news is now when I read back through that first draft, I'm much better at spotting these places and adding thoughts, feelings, sights, sounds, etc., to spread out the moment.

I think The Truth About Letting Go was the first time I truly felt satisfied I'd mastered the process. To this day, I can't read Chapter 17 without crying... but that's another story.

I'm headed back into the cave, reader-friends! Just popping out to say Hi! and share my thoughts.

Remember to check out IndieReCon starting tomorrow! (link) It's a FREE online writers conference filled with tons of useful information about business, craft, working with readers, marketing, etc.

And since last week I posted the Valentine's Day "Love Notes" for the Dragonfly series, this week, I'll post the ones for the "Truth" books.

Enjoy~

The Truth About Faking

And talk about layers~

The Truth About Letting Go

Have a super week, reader-friends! Love ya~

Throwing Socks at the Ceiling Fan

Before I was an editor, before I worked in any form of news, before I had a master's degree, before I had any credentials other than a bachelor's degree and a post-baccalaureate certification, I taught tenth-grade English.

I think every college graduate should be required to teach one year, or at least student teach one semester at a public school.

There'd be a lot less debate about funding public schools or how hard our teachers work or even how different kids are today from how they were "back then."

source

So I taught tenth grade English, and at the end of that year, my students had to take the writing portion of the LEAP exam, Louisiana's standardized testing required for graduation.

Needless to say we focused on writing heavily, and needless to say many of them were extremely nervous about being required to write on a random topic in order to graduate. Or to write. Period.

Our mantra was "writing is a craft," and I explained that meant it was something you got better at the more you did it. I'd have them write something almost every day, pass it to a neighbor for "grading," and then go back and correct it before turning it in to me for the final grade.

It was a primitive version of critique partners, and I didn't even know it.

When I started writing books, I didn't know what I wanted to write. I'd get ideas for stories that I liked, or I'd get a character in my head, and I'd chase him or her wherever s/he led, whether it was back in time or outer space or just around the block.

My first book wasn't very polished, but I think my latest shows the mantra works. You do improve with practice, getting feedback, learning from mistakes.

When he was in high school, my older brother liked lying on his bed, taking off the socks he was wearing, and then throwing them at the ceiling fan while it was spinning.

Sometimes I'd lie on the bed beside him and watch, and we'd laugh about how far they flew or dodge the falling dust bunnies, depending on how long it'd been.

source

My writing path feels that way at times. Five completed MSs later, and I still don't know which genre I prefer to write or which my readers prefer.

I'm not sure it matters as long as I just keep doing it, learning from my mistakes, improving.

I can't seem to find my point today, I'm sorry. If you've made it this far, I guess it's just keep swimming. And if you're throwing socks at the ceiling fan, remember to dodge the dust bunnies. (Yes?)

Oh, and every one of my students passed the writing portion of the LEAP. I was so proud of them. Still am.

Have a great week, reader- and writer-friends! <3

Orson Welles Says Wait

I'm about to share some advice I haven't completely internalized myself. There's two-parts, so here's #1: Publishing is the slowest business on Earth. (I've got that.)

#2: It's OK for me to slow down, too.

Gah! That's the part I can't internalize.

We live in a super fast-paced society, right? Everything is instant gratification, and no one should be made to wait for anything. It's bad business, and it's bad for business. That's how we're trained since childhood.

I have the added disadvantage of coming to this game from a primarily print-news background. It's actually good and bad.

Source

It's great because I have loads of discipline about meeting deadlines and getting stuff done. Staying on point, crafting strong ledes.

It's bad because news is one of the fastest businesses on the planet.

Even worse, I worked about 18 months in television news, which moves at the speed of light.

OK, maybe more like sound, but I'm just saying. In television, if it happened today, and you didn't get it on by 10 p.m., it's Old News.

I know, exaggerate much? Actually, No. I don't.

So then I got it in my head to try and write a book. And lo and behold, I did it! Oh my god!

About half-way through, when I realized it might actually happen, I shot off a ten thousand-word equery to Dan Lazar at Writers House all about how I was a published journalist, I was writing this book, and he was going to love it once it was done. Oh, why him? Meh, I picked his name off the list because I'd heard Writers House was good, and he took equeries. The end.

Ten points to Gryffindor if you can name everything I did wrong in that paragraph.

As time passed, I got feedback from some agents that my very first book needed revision. Pretty significantly. Perhaps if I hadn't equeried 500 agents at once, I could've addressed that.

But no worries! I wrote a few more books and ultimately I did get an agent. Now I'm looking at revisions for the book we're about to send out.

And you know the advice I've been given? Take your time. Get it right.

For me, that is the hardest lesson. Slow down. Let it sit a few days and then go back to it with fresh eyes. Pick it up again, polish it some more, make it better.

Good books, like good wine, take time. Take it from our boy Orson. Once it's out there, it's out there. No taking it back.

Why not make it as good as it can be before releasing it?

Personally, I want it to happen now, now, NOW! But I bet we can all name books that would've benefited from a few more weeks (or months) in the barrel.

Have a great week, reader- and writer-friends! <3

George R.R. Martin Cares

Everybody's reading that Song of Ice and Fire (or watching Game of Thrones, the HBO show based on it). A few of my male friends here keep talking about it, and I think Matt R. (link) even did a post about it last week on the Q3E.

I'll just go ahead and put it out there: I'll probably never read this book. It's not my genre, and it's 4,000 pages long. Yes.

But in the Dec. issue of Entertainment Weekly, they named their "Entertainers of the Year," and George R.R. Martin (the author) was one of them. (link)

Amy Poehler wrote a little blurb about him and why she likes him so much, which brings me to this post.

She said, "He cares about what happens to his characters as much as we do."

I'm always interested in what readers like about their favorite books, because I want to see if there's some way I can *do that* as I write.

Anyway, so caring about your characters. That's a given, right?

Well, I got to thinking about this, and I confess, I haven't always done it. I'm thinking of one of my villains in particular. He's a bad dude, and I didn't want to get to know him. I didn't want to be in his head as I wrote.

But that's the thing. You have to care about every one of your characters--even the bad ones, even the minor ones, even the ones who just get you from here to there.

What motivates them? What are they hoping to get out of life? Why are they in the way of the main character or helping him or her get to wherever s/he's going?

I'm not saying every book needs to be 4,000 pages long, because... well, see above reason. But it should at least show that every character is a known entity and someone we care enough about to understand.

What do you guys think? Am I the only one digging this?

In other News: Our buddy DL Hammons (link) is hosting the Semi-Finals Round of WRiTE CLUB this week. (Two different entries face off every day.)

One of the competing entries this week will be mine, but I won't tell you which--or which day b/c I don't know. But if you would, try to run over every day and vote/leave a comment. All the contenders will appreciate it.

Thanks!

And have a great week, reader- and writer-friends! <3

Mission: Imperfection

Happy New Year, bleeps! Here's to a fantastic 2012, and may all your resolutions and dreams come true.

Over the holiday, JRM and I sneaked in a few date nights, and on one, we saw the new Mission: Impossible film. It was very entertaining!

It reminded me of a chat I had with Dr. Q (link) recently about watching movies like a novelist.

Mission: Impossible, 2011

She and I agreed that it's hard not to study character development, pacing, plotlines, etc., while watching films these days, and usually we're disappointed by the too-fast pacing, plot-holes, and undercooked characters.

In the case of MI: Ghost Protocol, it was the opposite. J.J. Abrams is a great storyteller, and he did a wonderful job rebooting the franchise.

What stood out to me the most was the unimaginative premise: A madman is on a mission to steal a nuclear warhead--a Soviet warhead, no less--and destroy the world.

Wow. That premise is so old, it was the basis for a spoof movie that's also 20 years old.

Not only that, it opens with an agent getting assinated in the field, a prison break, and the whole IMF team getting disavowed. (Meaning, they're now rogue agents classified as terrorists.)

I sat in the theater and thought, "Seriously? This again?"

But I tell you, it was the best MI film I think I've seen since the first one. Naturally, I launched into study mode. Why did this work?

The tension stayed high because the story kept me guessing. (OK, maybe some of you out there saw the twists coming a mile away, but I didn't.)

Wasn't this the suit he wore in Rainman?

All the high-tech devices malfunctioned, Cruise did not save the world again and again--in fact, he failed on all but one occasion--and the Americans and the Russians worked together to fight the bad guys.

It was a nice twist. It was also a great writing rule-reminder: take the expected and flip it around.

Yes, there's nothing new under the sun, but I'm starting to believe audiences and readers like the familiar. That's why it keeps working over and over again--only with a twist.

Maybe that's the classic secret: Human experience is common, but if you can take a few common experiences that don't normally go together and mix them up, you come up with something uncommon. And maybe, sometimes, it's something even better.

What do you guys think? Seen any good examples of this lately?

Have a great week, reader- and writer-friends! Til next time~ <3

Research: How I Cheat by Susan Kaye Quinn

I am so psyched to welcome Susan Kaye Quinn for my first-ever guest post!

Susan runs her eponymous blog (link), and she's just released her brand new book Open Minds (Book One of the Mindjack Trilogy). Right now the Kindle version is only $2.99 on Amazon (link). Run get it!

You might remember Dr. Q from when I reviewed her young-adult romance Life, Liberty and Pursuit last year (link). It was so great, I could not wait to get Open Minds the minute it came out last week. I'll post my new review ASAP.

But now for the guest post. Take it away, Susan!

* * *

I’ve written stories about wormhole-traveling clones a thousand years in the future, dimension-traveling fairies, and sailors going through boot camp (if you can find the common thread there, please let me know).

For every story I write, I do a lot of research, and my new paranormal/SF novel Open Minds (Book One of the Mindjack Trilogy) is no exception.

Bob Mayer says the special forces unit he was a part of lived by the saying, “If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying hard enough.” That saying really speaks to my creative urge to break the rules and do things differently.

(Note: I’m not in favor of cheating on tests, etc. You’re only cheating yourself when you do that.)

When I research, I cheat. I don’t have time to roam the earth and experience first hand the many settings, buildings, deserts, and national monuments where I place my stories.

That’s why God invented Google Earth.

(Did you know that if you type “Earth” into Google Maps, it gives you Earth, TX, population 1,109. Who knew the world was so small?)

I’ve walked around the small town of Rock Point, Ariz. (in Open Minds), strolled the streets of Amesbury, England (in The Faery Swap), and figured out the best route to break into the Great Lakes Naval Air Station (in Open Minds).

I actually drove up to the guard shack at Great Lakes one time, but only because we happened to be driving by and I couldn’t resist. Turns out the guard was working on a mystery novel. He still wouldn’t let me in.

I troll for images on the Internet to find people who have visited places that I want to set my story. I should no longer be amazed at what can be found online, but people post pictures of vacations, business trips, and their hometowns, conveniently labeled with titles and descriptions.

I’ve even used blogs written by other people (a naval cadet in boot camp, a fashionista attenting a fashion show) to get the voice and slang-usage right for a particular character.

If that’s cheating, I think there should be a class to teach kids how to do it. And I seriously wonder how writers did their thing before the advent of the Internet.

Then again, the flip side of the access to all this information is that everyone else has access to it to. And in a global world, you’re guaranteed to have someone read your story who actually HAS been there and done that. I had several (not one but SEVERAL) people who had actually gone through boot camp read my teen love story Life, Liberty, and Pursuit.

I sighed with relief when they were amazed at how realistic the gas mask training scene was. #thankyouSailorBloggerBoy

Sometimes you have to straight make stuff up. Even then, I find inspiration in Science magazine or Through the Wormhole, just a tidbit or two to get my creative engine humming.

And you’d be amazed what “Lightbulbs of the Future” will bring up on Google.

* * *

Awesome. Thanks again, Susan! Those are great links and information to make our research easier. I'll post the book information below again, and in the meantime, have a great week, reader- and writer-friends! Til Thursday~ <3

When everyone reads minds, a secret is a dangerous thing to keep.

Sixteen-year-old Kira Moore is a zero, someone who can’t read thoughts or be read by others. Zeros are outcasts who can’t be trusted, leaving her no chance with Raf, a regular mindreader and the best friend she secretly loves.

When she accidentally controls Raf’s mind and nearly kills him, Kira tries to hide her frightening new ability from her family and an increasingly suspicious Raf. But lies tangle around her, and she’s dragged deep into a hidden world of mindjackers, where having to mind control everyone she loves is just the beginning of the deadly choices before her.

Open Minds (Book One of the Mindjack Trilogy) by Susan Kaye Quinn is available for $2.99 in e-book (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords) and $9.99 in print (Amazon, Createspace).

Who's Gazumping whom?

Nerd alert: I confess one of the things I love most about being back in Indy is the 24-hour NPR. There's this one show "A Way With Words" (link) that I think is just the bee's knees.

I had it on Saturday on the way to my hair appointment, and they were talking about unusual words. The word in question was gazump, which means to swindle someone at the last second before signing a contract--usually in real estate.

For example, you agree to buy a house for $200K, but then at the last minute, right as you're about to sign, the seller says, "Oh, the trees on the property are worth more than I thought. That'll be another $20K."

Gazump!

Then they went into a discussion of how to indicate sarcasm in text. This piqued the writer in me, as I'm always looking for creative ways to avoid adverbs in dialogue tags. My little writer-ears perked up.

Apparently there's this site sartalics.com that's promoting left-leaning italics to indicate slang. (She said, not sarcastically.)

The problem is all the typefaces will have to be redrawn (or whatever) to make that work. Too bad, because I think that's a great idea.

Digression: While searching for sartalics, I also found the Sarcasm Society's website (link), which is worth a look. Hilarious.

Back to Sartalics! It raised a problem I've encountered in my writing before. I mean, I'm pretty good at indicating the way people are delivering their lines based on what's gone before and body language, but sarcasm is tough.

How do you guys indicate sarcasm in dialogue without resorting to adverbs? I'm just curious.

In the meantime, have a great weekend, reader- and writer-friends! If you're celebrating Halloween, have fun and be safe.

I'll have a special TREAT for you on Monday. Til then~ <3

Creative Teams

So I've been watching Project Runway for the first time.

One of the contestants, Anthony Ryan, is a Baton Rouge resident and LSU alumni. Geaux, Tigers! and root, root, root for the home team! He won last week's challenge. Whoot, Anthony Ryan!

I don't know if it's a regular thing for this show, but they've been forcing these designers to work together on teams quite a bit. Each time it's been a disaster for the majority of the teams.

This week, they're doing another team project, and from the previews, it looks like more emotional explosions and fallout are to come.

I'm sure it's great for ratings, but I'm disappointed by this aspect of the show. After each team challenge, the judges ask "who was the weakest link," and basically force the other designers to throw someone under the bus.

First, that's extremely lazy of Heidi & Co. (a.k.a., the judges). But second, it's been my experience that creative people do not create well on teams.

When I was an editor (at LSU), I worked with designers, photographers, etc., very creative people. Most of them were exceptionally good at their jobs. And we all did our parts alone.

We would get together along the way and make sure we were all on the same page, but then we would go and do our own creative part--taking pictures, designing the concept, writing the copy--alone.

The one creative exception I can think of is a musical group. But even with bands who write their own music, these guys/gals have worked together for years, and they usually come from similar life situations or parts of the country. Think Lennon-McCartney, The Rolling Stones, U2, No Doubt, (insert your favorite band)...

In the Project Runway situation, these designers are from all over the country and very disparate backgrounds. Most importantly, they're competing for one shot at winning $100,000 and all that other stuff they get if they win.

I propose it's the same with writers. How many team-written books are there? I've only read one, and it was so terrible, I won't name it.

OK, now I'm remembering the Roeckers. I confess, I haven't had a chance to read their book yet (link), and I've heard it's great! So maybe they're the exception.

But they're so close, I'm not sure they count. I've heard they also speak to each other in Esperanza or whatever language twins teach each other (*wink*). Just kidding, L-L... Everyone go buy The Liars' Society (link) and read it!

Do any of you co-write books? Can this work? How do you do it? Is there a method to this madness? And what's (another) example of a good co-written book?

I'm skeptical. And if Anthony Ryan goes home tonight because of all this foolishness, Heidi & Co. can just forget me watching anymore. (LOL!)

Have a great weekend, reader- and writer-friends! Til Monday~ <3

More of an Idea Rat

I posted a while back about keeping it simple. In my experience, the most effective story that was the easiest to write and that went over best with those that mattered was the one where I focused on a simple concept, easy to explain, easy to relate.

Then we talked about Rebecca Black and Phil Collins and I referenced the little logline exercise provided by agents Rachel, Nathan, and Natalie. Remember that? KISS? Here's the link in case you're curious (link).

But what if you have a really complex idea? One that can't be summed up in one sentence? At least not satisfactorily. And what if you think it's pretty good.

Source

I suppose you could argue that no books can be satisfactorily summed up in one sentence. There are always subplots and characters who if left out, change the tone or whatever.

On my back burner is a little MS JRM keeps bugging me to finish. It's at 15K words with many, many notes. I had to make a separate file of notes because it's a complex idea. I'm not even confident I can pull it off successfully.

So what to do? Ditch it? Maybe I could start and then see how much frosting I have if it flops...

Just kidding, I don't believe in icing together something that's not working. But I also don't believe in spending tons of time on an MS that isn't going anywhere. I'm not that old yet, and I've got two little ladies I'm taking time away from to do this.

What do you guys do with complicated ideas? Wait until they feel simple? Keep writing til they get simple?

Maybe I'm overthinking it.

I'm out of the revision cave (again), so I hope to be around more now. Have a super holiday weekend, reader- and writer-friends! Til Monday~ <3

It Takes a Crazy Person

Pop quiz: You have to be crazy to be truly artistic and/or creative. (T/F)

It's something I've been thinking about lately. When I was growing up back in the Stone Ages *cough* I mean, in the 80s, that was somewhat the prevailing view.

The truly creative, artistic people were all total nutjobs. Some writers even went so far as to cultivate a crazy persona to be taken more seriously. Remember this post?

Why am I thinking about this? Two reasons. First (and most importantly), I'm trying to rationalize my own nutty behavior as of late. It's all that latent creativity coming out. (Right?)

But also, thanks to Nathan Bransford, I watched Stephenie Meyer on Oprah, and she's just the most normal-seeming person on the planet. Jo Rowling, too.

These ladies don't seem crazy, but they've each created something that everyone loves. Perhaps you would argue that their books aren't particularly original or creative. Or artistic.

In the case of Twilight, I can see much borrowing from the classics. But in the case of Rowling the same can be said. She reimagined many old hero stories and myths--the Alchemist's stone? I think both ladies are great writers and demonstrate much creativity. Yet they're both just average, stay-at-home moms.

So what's the verdict? True or false?

I know, crazy is a charged term. I hesitate to describe anyone, myself included, that way. But there is something different.

Maybe it's more a matter of learning to let go. Losing a grip on self-discipline, schedule keeping, fitness regimines, keeping up with family events, the appearance of actually listening when someone's talking to you...

I guess the way most writers act when they're chasing down an idea does make them appear somewhat crazy. Or air-headed--fer sure--a bit like those absent-minded professors.

Artists can be the same way. Musicians just hum a lot and tap on everything.

I'm going to answer False, but I think the appearance would lead the uninitiated to say True. You?

Just some fun before I head back into the revisions cave--here I go again. Have a great week, reader- and writer-friends. Til Thursday~ <3

The Revision Cave - What I've Learned

I'm peeking my head out, I'm almost done, and I thought I'd share what I've learned... what I'm sure most of you already know about revisions. Revisions are painful,

but in the midst of it all, I'm having a very Zen-enlightenment experience of learning about myself. (That's a joke, because I already knew these things about myself, I'm really experiencing the joy of attempting to grow through them.)

#1-I don't like redoing things.

It's the reason I took classical piano lessons for eight years and never excelled. I hate to practice. Something in me resists going back and reliving, revising, learning to make something better.

And that's a huge mistake. Practice, revision, and review are so important. Already I can tell certain scenes are stronger from just a third (or fourth) look.

#2-I get in a funky mood when I write funky scenes.

On Friday I added a love scene (going from YA to adult here) and enhanced a ... (no spoilers) Bad Scene. And by the end of the day, I needed some dancing medicine. (Just ask Matt, Sheri, and Kelly who I happened to find on FB later that evening.) I am not proud.

But at the same time, that's probably a good thing, right? And if we can all resist becoming Earnest Hemingway over it, investing real emotions into emotional scenes only makes them more authentic, yes?

Source

So those are my weak excuses for why I'm M.I.A. again. No moves, no motherhood drama. Just me in the revision cave, hopefully getting better all the time. Miss you.

Got any humorous (or not) self-discoveries to share from the cave? Otherwise, I hope most of you are having a blast at Write On Con--another great writer's resource.

Have a great weekend, reader- and writer-friends. Til Monday. Namaste~ <3

HS Rereading & Review - The Scarlet Letter

I reread The Scarlet Letter last week. I've been working on two historical MSs, so it was part-research, part-curiosity.

TSL was first assigned to me in tenth-grade English, and I remembered thinking it was the most laborious book I'd ever been forced to read.

The language was so archaic and dense--Who writes like this? And the descriptions of all the minutiae--Oh, God! Why?

But I slogged through it.

I went to a magnet school, and we were drilled that we were "college prep." We were selling ourselves short if we didn't do our best. And as one of my friends said in horror, "If you don't do the assignment, how will you ever get those points back?"

Yeah. That was my high school experience. But it was good for me. No complaints.

So anyway, going in I anticipated something like this: Boring, boring, boring. Sudden intensity! The End.

Rereading it as a married mother with a few adult relationships under my belt, I had a very different response than I did at 15.

I can now appreciate the story of the pretty young bride, the disfigured, neglectful older husband, the smart, charismatic young minister.

I empathized with the whole single mother situation, and could imagine the added pain of being alone, a social outcast. I also could understand better why Hester wouldn't reveal her illigetimate child's father.

The scene in the woods when she bares her soul to her baby-daddy (I won't spoil it in case anyone on the planet hasn't read this book) was particularly poignant.

Hester was a young girl in love. And she glamorizes her otherwise mundane life with her protection of her co-conspirator.

At the same time BD still irritates me. He's ambitious and allows Hester to hide his guilt so he can go on pursuing his career goals.

Yet he's so weak, his hypocricy literally kills him. He can't muster the strength to leave it all behind and take Hester and Pearl away. Even after confessing his love for her.

Wow. Hats off to Hawthorne. I think I've met that male protagonist. And I know I've been guilty of playing Hester before in at least one relationship. Forget my needs, I love him!

*snort*

So no wonder it's a classic. Now here's my question: Is this book wasted on a 15-year-old audience?

I taught 15 year-olds, and I guess my answer would be, "Not if it's done right." And alternatively, if they're not made to read it then, will they ever? And then will books like these be lost?

Doubtful about the lost part. It's a good book. I recommend picking it  up sometime, and feel free to skim the lengthy, dense descriptions of minutiae. I did.

Have a great week-end, reader-friends! Til Monday~ <3


(Hey, P.S. Read, or reread, any good classics lately?)

Are You a Teacher?

I get asked that a lot.

When I was younger, I'd get all offended because I thought the speaker was implying that I was frumpy and unfashionable. Basically, uncool.

I was still set on becoming the next Anna Wintour. So I was all black, severe diet, severe hair (Ha!), very focused on my career as an editor.

Sigh... kids.


Now when I'm asked that question, I have a very different response.

I actually did teach my first year out of college. I was 23, and I taught tenth grade non-honors English at my alma mater, Scotlandville Magnet High School in Baton Rouge.

My sophomore English students were the absolute best--we had a blast. But I also had to teach one class of seniors, and it was hard for me. I was too close to their age, and discipline was a problem.

And I'm not very tall. That does matter when you're scolding an 18 year-old boy who's looking down at you, grinning.

Anyway, so last weekend at our yard sale, a poor black lady walked up with her son. He looked about middle-school aged, but he was as big as me. And he was constantly humming under his breath as he shoved through the stacks of books, toys, movies, whatnot. Very bull in the china closet.

The lady tried to direct his attention, but he was focused.

I've shared with you guys about my first boss as an editor Susan and her autistic son Seamus. This boy reminded me very much of how Seamus acted. (If you're interested in that post, here's the link).

This boy could speak, so I called to him, "Here, look at this."

I had one of those fridge-phonics toys where you put the letter in the little square box and press it down. A song plays that teaches the child the letter sounds.

Some of you probably have it: "E says E, and E says eh. Every letter makes a sound..."

The boy was ecstatic! He grabbed the toy out of my hands, and I felt his strength. I glanced at his mom and remembered Susan's biggest fear was that one day she'd have to put Seamus in a home.

She had tears in her eyes when she told me that.

You see, autistic boys grow just like every other boy, and for a single mom, their tantrums can turn into inadvertant physical injury.

Anyway, he was smiling, so excited. He wanted to press it and press it and press it. I took his hand and said, "Here. Watch."

Then I took another letter out of the bag, showed it to him, then showed him how to fit it in the slot. The toy was made for preschoolers, so it wasn't hard. Then I pressed it. "O says O, and O says ooo..."

He yelped with glee and then grabbed me in the biggest, hardest hug. He almost knocked me down. I laughed. His mother was so apologetic. It was Okay, I said.

Then she said it: "You must be a teacher."

I smiled and shook my head. I wasn't, I said, although I had taught one year a long time ago.

It was an interesting moment, and it made me think about several things. First, how stupid I was in my 20+-year-old estimation of teachers. But also how every relationship in your life leaves you with a particular understanding of other people and their individual fears.

My writer-brain kicked in, and I had so many potential character ideas. The poor mother. The big, strong mentally challenged son who responds to the smallest kindness. Her patience. The response they're probably expecting or used to getting. How my reaction could've changed the scene.

In closing, it's the last week of school here, so I'd like to say a big THANK YOU to the teachers we've had at Spanish Fort Elementary School.

Not only are they some of the most fashion-forward teachers I've ever seen, they love their students, and they're the best I've encountered.

I'm honored to be mistaken for one.

Have a great week, reader-friends. Til Thursday~ <3

Keep It Simple

It might not show in pictures, but I've always been sort of a laid-back personality. Sure, I'm super Type-A, but that's mostly when it comes to things like accomplishing my own, personal goals.

I think that's what attracted me to my husband. We're both extremely driven. But we don't expect others to be that way. In fact, we're both almost apologetic for not being more cool and laid back--Zen--about things like careers and fitness and personal goals...

Okay, so that's a long buildup for what I'm about to say: I got no beef with that little Rebecca Black song.

"Friday" is all about pure joy, man, and I just don't understand the hate. Now get over yourself, and listen to me.

Yes, the words are inane and the the vocoder on her voice makes her sound like a tree frog, but when you get right down to it, "Everybody's lookin forward to the weekend."

That's something we can all understand. Right? It's so simple, it's corny.

My preferred version is the Stephen Colbert/Jimmy Fallon production (link). But you all know I'm a fan of dancing girls and glitter guns (and feather boas). The Glee cast also did a pretty good rendition. (link)

Anyway, I got to thinking about writing and the book I've currently got on submission. When I started writing that one, I had one thing in my head: Keep it Simple.

I'd recently re-heard that This American Life broadcast where Starlee Kine wanted to write a break-up song, so she enlisted the help of Phil Collins. I don't know if you've heard it, but it's gut-wrenching. Here's the (link).

Anyway, I always thought Phil Collins was a tool and his music was oppressive. But after listening to that TAL, I decided he was among the first people I was inviting to The Party.

After Shatner and Bill Murray and Kirstie Ally. And Wes Anderson. And my little sister, Reese Witherspoon.

Yes, this is a fictitious party in my head. So?

Here's my point: Last week (or so) I posted about writing a classic, and we all weighed in. The comments basically added up to the fact that a classic presents relatable characters going through situations we all face in an engaging, timeless way.

I'm not saying "Friday" by Rebecca Black is a classic. But I think it deserves examination. It doesn't over-think the situation. It boils it all down to the basics. I'm snorting as I say this, but it's primal. And it's damn catchy.

The lesson I got: Do that logline exercise described by Nathan, Rachel and now Natalie. Then start writing. Keep It Simple, Sweetheart (KISS).

And see what happens.

Okay, I'm just throwing it out there. What do you guys think? Have I lost it this time?

Remember, LITBM blogfest is Monday! Here's the (link).

Have a great weekend, reader-friends. Til Monday~ <3

Writing a Classic

Writing is hard, solitary work. It's painful and emotional and yes, sometimes it's like giving birth without painkillers or lamaze classes.

Nothing's worse than struggling to find the exact right words or phrases, the right combination of syllables, the perfect sensory description of a mood or a setting, and for whatever reason, it just isn't happening.

But it's also tons of fun.

When all the forces come together and the storyline's flowing, hours can go by in seconds.

And the rush of capturing that moment--that emotion, that interaction between two individuals, that meaning or realization. It's very cool.

If it weren't, we wouldn't be doing it.

When I started, I just wanted to write anything.

I was learning how to put it all together, to pace it right, to incorporate just enough description without wearing out my reader, and learning to wait just long enough to allow what just happened to sink in before moving to the next thing...

Then somewhere along the way I started thinking about writers like Shakespeare and Dickens and Kafka. And books like Little Women and Jane Eyre and Pride & Prejudice. Even Gone With the Wind.

How do these books continue to touch readers centuries after they're written? What makes them classics?

Is it the storyline? The way they're written? The themes? The timing of when the book's published?

I don't know.

Maybe there's no answer. Not every book that becomes a classic is the best-written or the most polished, or fits into what everyone's saying your writing should look like.

But readers cherish them. They laugh, cry, write in the margins, give them to their children, complain when the movies are made...

It's bugging me. I want to make one of those. But how?

Do classics just happen? Is there a common trait? Is it something I can learn or study? Or is it just serendipity? What do you guys think?

* * *

In the meantime, Dr. Lydia K (link) and I are having our first "Laughter is the Best Medicine" blogfest on May 16!

Here's how it works. Sign up with Mr. Linky below, then on May 16, do the following:

• Post your favorite writer joke.
• If you don't have a writer joke (are there any?), post your favorite job-related joke.
• And if you don't have one of those (either writer- or work-related joke), post your favorite joke (or funny story).

See? We're making it super-easy, and we hope it will brighten everyone's day. Maybe help those of you recover from your A-Z challenge.

And help us spread the fun! Grab the graphic, post it on your blog, and link it back here (or to Lydia). Your prize is a better heart--because of the laughter. (Get it?)



In the meantime, have a great week reader-friends! Til Thursday~ <3

Delightful Smells & Dead Stuff

Most everyone's doing the A-Z challenge this month. I'm not, but my post today happens to coincide with the letter D... It's D-day in more ways than one around here, but more on that later.

I got many different reactions to my assertion that boys stink--on both sides. As always, I'm ready to be corrected. Heck on this matter, I want to be corrected. All my male characters smell delightful.

And when I read Crazy Writer Girl's (hilarious) post, I didn't realize I might be writing unrealistic contemporary fiction by asserting my male love interests were fresh as daffodils.

I'm a MOG (mother of girls), and JRM is thoughtful enough to hang his sweaty clothes on the side porch after exercising. So we're not subjected to stinky boys.

The good news, is I was not all wet! Here's what I've learned from my MOB (mother of boy) commenters:

• Not all boys smell! It's more a function of their age and level of physical activity.
• The boy stink seems to max out around late-elementary school (around eleven). And Truth: our little ladies can hold their own in the stink-department after a hard day's playing.
• Once the prospect of love enters the picture, our fellas (and girls) magically transform into frequent bathers who often drown themselves in perfumes and deodorants as well. (*cough*)

Now I'm thinking I need to get my sniffer to the store to expand my sensory vocabulary. So here's to heavenly scented teens (of the non-paranormal variety).

And my apologies for asserting they might smell otherwise. (I was misled!)

As for Dead Stuff, my good bleep Jen ("Unedited" link) sent her query letter through Matt's Q3E recently (link), and there was a mini-discussion in the comments over whether she should use the label Chick-lit, as that genre has been pronounced "dead."

Saying your book is a "rom-com" was also named the Kiss of Death.

I started thinking about other categories that were Dead until something new gave them the old Dr.-Frankenstein-electric-shock treatment.

Things like paranormal before Twilight, slasher films before Scream, even Westerns before the Cohen brothers remade True Grit.

So... 
-Should we just keep swimming in the face of assertions that our genre is DEAD? 
-Should we all start working on our YA dystopians immediately? 
-What if someone is starting a paranormal romance (which is on the verge of Death again)? ... irony.

Have a great week, reader-friends! Til Thursday~ <3

Smells Like Teen Boys

I read the funniest post ever by Crazy Writer Girl about "the olfactory problem in YA writing." (I'd put a link to it, but the blog seems to have been removed--or else Blogger's messing with me again.)

Anyway, the point of the post was that boys stink.

It was written by a wife and mother of two boys, and she noted that there's a Big Lie being perpetrated in YA literature where the overwhelming majority of male love interests emit amazingly pleasant odors.

Naturally, she wanted to know where all these fantastic-smelling teen boys were hiding as her brood ... well, according to CWG, they don't smell like fresh-cut grass (or fresh-cut anything for that matter).

As I was snorting in my coffee, I realized it's true! And I read them that way all the time without ever thinking about it (or looking over at JRM and going, "Why don't you smell like a field of clover all the time?")

Seriously, though. The reality is teen boys don't typically worry about how they smell. But if I'm writing a swoon-ey crush scene, I can't say Hot Johnny smells like a dirty gym sock.

On the other hand, I also don't want to describe his manly musk. Ew. (Am I the only person who finds the word musk extremely unappealing?)

Musk

That's a picture of a musk (or three). --->

Seriously, folks. Not hot.

Fictional males need to smell attractive. And in fairness, CWG wasn't saying to make them more realistic (i.e., stinky), she was asking for writers to associate guys with more believable guy smells.

I gotta confess. I might just stick to suspension of disbelief on this one. And I think meeting the right person can have transformative powers on both the sniffer and the sniffee.

On a related note, one of my Book Club ladies, after reading The Hunger Games, said she was bothered by the fact that none of the girls ever had a period. Seriously. The lack of menstruation stood out to her.

I told her they were so malnourished and under such extreme stress, they were all suffering from amenorrhea. But what am I? The Suzanne Collins apologist?

As a writer, again I was stunned. Do readers really notice these things? Apparently the answer is sometimes Yes.

So I have two questions for you:

-What do you think about staying that true to life? 
-Should we include the nitty-gritty details in our writing? 

(Do your females skip periods and your male characters smell like daffodils?)

I'm suddenly feeling the need for some light revisions... Have a great weekend, reader- and writer- friends!

Til Monday~ <3

The Ugly Ones

I come from a family of witty people. In my Scotch-Irish (Jewish-German-British-hello, this is America), south-Mississippi-native family, I'm probably the least clever verbally of the bunch.

It was either my Bobie or my older brother who liked to say beauty was skin deep, but ugly was to the bone.

I'm thinking it was my Bobie, but my brother liked repeating it. He also called one of my sorority sisters "mascara Sara," so don't think he ever used kid-gloves. Least of all with me.

There was a deeper meaning to that adage, but that's not why I'm repeating it today. I did a post last week (or a few weeks ago--it's all running together these days, kids) about Aaron Spelling and The Beautiful Ones.

My premise was that people just want to read and watch stories about bad stuff happening to beautiful, rich people.

Never more was my suspicion confirmed than when I read Lisa Schwarzbaum's review in Entertainment Weekly of the movie Rango (link).

Can I just say, until I read her review, I had zero desire to see that movie? But then they did this whole thing about all the old Westerns it borrowed from, and well, I hate Westerns.

But I love my dad.

My dad knows the name of every horse of every cowboy that ever graced the silver screen or the small screen from the years 1950 to 1965. I am so not kidding.

He also shares my love of movies. When I was about 12, we got cable and he urged me to sit and watch two movies with him I'll never forget. One was Scaramouche with Stewart Granger and the other was Stalking Moon with Eve Marie Saint and Gregory Peck.

In Liberty, Miss., the small town where he grew up, they had a dime theater that he would go to as a little kid and watch movies.

He told me one time about how he'd stayed late to watch something and then ended up having to walk home alone, in the pitch darkness, the two to five-mile distance to my Mammaw and Pappaw's house.

 I still find that hard to believe. He was like 12 himself.

He also told me a story about taking a date to see Gone With the Wind there, and when they arrived, she looked so pretty. By the time they left, he said her eyes were so swollen and smeared with mascara from crying, she looked terrible.

I've met that woman. She still has an enormous crush on my dad.

Anyway, so Schwarzbaum wrote the following: "The biggest strike against Rango, though--for both the movie and the hero--is that the lizard is so damn ugly."

It got me to thinking about my post. And about my dad. My dad because now I want to see Rango because of his love of Westerns. You can't grow up with someone like that without a little of it sticking.

My other thought was this: If beauty sells, does ugly kill?

For me, the answer is Yes. I'm sorry, kids, but if a work of literature is just gross, gross, gross, I can't keep reading. I just can't. (OK, except for The Hunger Games series. But I had one eye closed the whole time.)

But What say you bloggie friends? And have any of you seen Rango? Think I'd like it?

Have a great weekend. I'm actually headed to south Mississippi where I'll see my older brother (in town from Key West), my dad, and several other of my witty relatives. I expect it to be a hilarious time.

Til Monday~ <3

On Finding Your Niche & Knowing the End

It's Thursday, so I'm all gearing up for 30 Rock. I'm a late fan of the show, and I only watched the first episode years ago because I lurved Tina Fey.

The pilot was good, smart and snappy. And even though I didn't much care for Alec Baldwin back then, in that first episode, he had me giggling. Of course, now I think he's among the funniest humans on the planet.

But that was in the days of L O S T, and my life only allows for one to two (tops) hours of regular TV viewing a week. More = nothing gets done.

I'd drop in on 30 Rock from time to time, and it seemed funny. But it was hit and miss. Once L O S T ended, I started watching it more, and for the last two seasons, it's become clear--the writers have found their niche.

Making fun of NBC and "Politics as Usual," are home-runs for these jokers every time. Which brings us to the first part of my blog title.

I've written or started a MS in almost every YA sub-genre. (I don't have a dystopian or a paranormal.)

As of now, I think they're all strong and show promise--some are more works in progress than others. But I often wonder if there's one style that's going to emerge as more "mine" than the others. Like that comes more naturally or whatever.

Like will it be the Sci-Fi that's still unfinished? Or the angsty teen drama? Will it be the rom-com that's currently being shopped. Or the historical romance that's being revised? Will it be the mystery-family saga-series that needs revision?

TBD.

As for the other part of my blog title, L O S T just got better and better once they finally set a date for the last episode. Fans and critics agree that the second and third seasons floundered and introduced several characters and situations that didn't go anywhere and were ultimately dumped.

I get that as a writer. L O S T was such a novelistic-style show that it was impossible for them to write ad infinitum. They needed an endpoint.

Only one time have I written a novel where I didn't have a good idea how it would end. And it showed.

I floundered around for pages and pages trying to wrap it up, and it was just awful. I knew this, and thankfully I was able to fix it in a way that I think is satisfactory.

So what about you guys? Have you found your niche yet? Ever written without knowing the end? Care to share?

Have a great weekend! Til Monday~ <3

Reading Also Makes You Smarter

Mardi Gras is Wednesday, and it is full-blast carnival time in south Alabama (and south Louisiana). The girls are out of school, and I'm actually out of town.

It's a great time to have fun, so here's a short post on some humorous errors reading will help you avoid...

• "Once a Pony Time" is actually "Once Upon a Time."
• The point is not moo. The point is moot.
• Ideas do not dong on you. (Like a doorbell.) They dawn on you. (Like the sunrise.)
• You don't get Crawfish Tale dinners for $5 in so-La. (Unless Thibodeaux tags along chatting your ear off about his escapades on the bayou with Boudreaux.) It should be Tail.
• God's name is not Howard. (Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.)
• Nightmares are not night bears. (Don't scare the children more than they already are.)

And just because this makes me blow coffee through my nose every time, the citizens of Ghana are not known as Gonorrheans.

I don't know what they're called, but it's not that.

I'll cut it off there, but please share yours! I lurv reading stuff like this. And while you're out, save a bookstore--buy a book and read it. Then buy another...

Happy Mardi Gras, reader-friends. Til Thursday~ <3