She's looking at dialogue; my bit is on point of view (POV).
My second MS is a prequel-sequel to my very first book Dragonfly. The story is told through three journals given to the MC of Dragonfly, and it's like Rashomon--one complete account of the events is told followed by a second, and then the third. And in each version, the reader learns more and/or sees a different side of the story.
It was a lot of fun to write, and I think it turned out well. It was the first time I ever had a beta reader say she read something I wrote in one sitting. Wow. (Just between us, that made my life.)
I don't have a title I'm happy with, so I've been calling it Found Objects. It's older YA, possibly New Adult, complete at 80K words. And since it's a prequel-sequel, readers should know who's going to die going in. The Why behind the death (the secret revealed in Dragonfly) is a more interesting plot driver, IMO.
It's also the first time I attempted a male POV. See what you think!
Plot summary:
In the late-1970s three friends graduate from high school with big dreams.
Alex dreams of leaving the small, coastal town where they grew up and taking the art world by storm; Bill plans on becoming a super-rich developer and transforming their hometown into a high-end resort destination; Meg dreams of marrying Bill and taking her place as a leader of local society.
The three realize their dreams, but manipulations along the way create secrets that leave one isolated, one heartbroken, and the third dead.
Meg
May 31
Margaret Louise Kyser. Mrs. William S. Kyser. William and Margaret Kyser. Bill and Meg. Bill and Meg Kyser. Bill and Meg Kyser cordially invite you to their estate on Bono Island …
I love starting a new journal. The blank pages just waiting to be filled with all the fun and exciting things about to happen to me.
It’s almost as fun as planning my wedding. And planning my wedding is so much more fun than going to high school.
It’s almost as fun as planning my wedding. And planning my wedding is so much more fun than going to high school.
I’ve actually been planning my wedding since I was a little girl dressed up in my grandmother’s chiffon nightgowns and scarves. Meeting Billy provided the face to my mystery groom, and what a perfect face. I knew the minute I saw him that he was the one. Tall and slim with soft brown hair and beautiful blue eyes—it was love at first sight.
We’ll live happily every after, of course, with little Will, John, Lucy and Megan. Will named after Billy and John for my daddy. Lucy is for my best friend Alexandra Marie LaSalle, who has the coolest name ever. We call her Lexy for short, and I know, Lucy’s not the same as Lexy. But it reminds me of Lexy, and I want my little girl to be just like her—creative, beautiful, full of flair, and loyal to the end.Lexy
May 31
Salt. Fresh fish. Warm, moist humidity, moldering wood. The air smells like bright oranges and deep reds, white-hot yellows and brown. Low buzzing of construction down to my right, a strong rush of wind, pushing my hair back. Crash… sizzle. Crash… sizzle. The ocean is rough and happy today, beckoning me to run down and join in its dance.
So my best friend Meg gave me a journal as a graduation present, and here I am writing in it. It’s funny. I'd actually considered following her example and keeping a record of all my thoughts and feelings. Then she surprised me with this gift. Let’s see…
It’s a crazy time for all of us. So much is changing. This morning I decided to run to my usual escape down by the shore to relax and find my center. I was meditating when I remembered being a little girl and stripping off all my clothes so I could run and jump naked into the surf. It was always so warm and swirly, and I would pretend I could turn into a mermaid and swim deep down to rule some magical kingdom.
The memory made me smile, and I peeped through one eye at my surroundings. Nope, too many early vacationers to attempt a repeat performance. Even here on Fort Morris Road, the beach condos are taking over. Damn Bill Kyser. His big plan is only going to make it all worse.
Bill
May 31
Getting married right out of high school was not in the plan.
Bryant and I had the entire thing mapped out. We even ran it past the retired veterans at the small business center in Fairhaven. They were impressed. Said if we could convince farmers south of Fort Morris to stop planting sweet potatoes and cotton in the sand and sell us their land, this thing could work.
Then Meg tells me she’s pregnant.
I can’t believe I was so stupid, and after how careful I’ve been. Damn Sadie Hawkins. That’s when it happened. We’d all been drinking, and Meg was dancing around in that short skirt. We got back to Dad’s truck, and I couldn’t wait to pull her onto my lap...
Careless. Not staying focused. Bryant’s going to sh-t, and after two years of planning.
Bryant and I got our big idea one summer in Florida . We’d spent the first two months working on my uncle’s farm, driving combines and stacking hay bales. It was hard work and in this heat I hated it. I told Bryant we'd get the farms out of here if it was the last thing we did. He laughed, but Bryant’s a good guy. We’ve been friends since we were kids.
Bryant’s grandparents own a house in South Walton, and for ten years developers have been going down there, taking old worthless beachfronts and converting them into luxury beach communities. Some have full-time residents and some are rentals.
I decided we'd bring that to our town. We’d turn those swaths of open sand around Ocean Pass and Lost Key into tourist dollars with our names stamped on every one. It was going to work, and it was going to work big.
Now I see it all slipping away.
* * *
So there you have it. I feel like the voices are distinct, but I'm the writer. You tell me. In the case of my one male voice, I tried to keep it short, focused, driving. Just the facts, ma'am. (That's also his personality.)
What do you think? How do you guys handle different points of view? Ever tried it? Ever killed a MC?
Til Thursday~ <3
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