Thursday, October 28, 2010

Scenes from Halloween

Halloween is my all-time, absolute favorite holiday.

My mother says it's because we didn't observe it at my house when I was a kid. Maybe. I think it's because the weather is finally cooling off down here, and outside is just perfectly right for the event--windy, dead leaves blowing, full moon... and everyone's so excited, something hilarious typically happens.

So in honor of the occasion, I present my Top Three Favorite Halloween Memories starting from least scary to... well, most silly.

1. The Country Fair-McCue Road.

In elem-middle grades, I went to a private school that had a Country Fair every year on Halloween. There were games, dunking booths, crafts for sale, fair food, etc.

That was all fun when I was little, but when I got closer to high school, I realized the teenagers would always take off and run around to local "haunted" sites while all the children and parents were at the fair. (Back then you got your drivers' license at 15 and I had an older brother.)

There were two sites near where we lived that had several legends around them. The first was McCue Road. It led back into the woods and started off paved, but eventually it turned to gravel. Supposedly two dead bodies drained of all their blood had been found wrapped in garbage bags back on the gravel part. Naturally, that meant there was a coven of witches doing Black Sabbath rituals that we had to investigate.

The other was a grave at this Civil War-era cemetery in Zachary, La. I don't remember the name, but the grave had bars installed across the top because the legend was it contained the corpse of a witch. One by one the bars had been removed by... teenagers... and supposedly when the last bar was gone, she'd come back and kill us all.

All sorts of stories about cars going dead and then failing to start, power windows going down and not going back up, headlights going out and not coming back on, etc., were told by kids who'd tried to steal bars off the grave.

(To me that didn't make sense because wouldn't she want to come back? So why mess with the teenagers trying to release her?)

Nothing ever happened to us on these trips, but the memory of being 13 and allowed to tag along with the cool "big kids" on those adventures is still pretty vivid. It forms the basis of my Halloween love...

2. My Hero.

In college I dated a guy who was six-foot-two, 200 pounds--big guy. He stomped around town in Size 13 Docs, was the lead guitarist in a band. Mr. Cool, right?

He was also the youngest of nine kids--good south Louisiana Catholic family--and claimed when he was out running one night he saw the Spirit of Death (a dark shadow) rise out of a gutter and go into a house in his neighborhood. The next day (he said) the man who lived in that house died of a heart attack.

My boyfriend was also a major campy-horror-movie fan. Like the super B- variety. He made me watch The Evil Dead. And the sequels. Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Piranha! (the original)...

So he and I went to this haunted house one Halloween--you know, the pretend kind where people dress up and try to scare you? Many of you have never seen me in person. I'm not so big. I'm about five-foot-four, and I weigh between 120 and 130 pounds, depending on if there are cupcakes in the house.

At one point on our haunted tour a fellow dressed as Leatherface with a chainless chainsaw ran out toward us. Immediately my giant boyfriend lifted me off the ground by my upper arms and threw me in front of him, at the guy with the chainsaw.

Me: What are you doing?!?!
Him: (panicked) They won't hurt a girl!
Me: They won't hurt anybody! It's all fake!

We all know that was a completely illogical response, btw. They always hurt the girl.

3. Trick or Treat.

As I said, we didn't celebrate Halloween at my house when I was a kid. Well, my paternal grandmother thought that was a lot of ridiculousness. So one year when my brother and I were visiting her at Halloween (we were very young), she decided to take us trick or treating around her small hometown of Liberty, Miss.

I was very much a pleaser as a child, and I just knew we weren't supposed to be doing this. Internally, I was all a-fret because "if Mom found out..."

I was also a pudgy little kid. I was never very tall and until I hit puberty, I was ... well, fat. There's just no other nice way to say it. I didn't like to sweat and I liked to eat. Two plus two equals four.

So we went to several houses, got bags filled with candy. Me: Hey, this Halloween business ain't so bad! Then my Mammaw said we had to go to one more house. It was someone she knew, but at the time, I wasn't aware of that.

My brother and I walked up to the door and knocked and "REEE!!!" An Evil Witch jumped out and released a blood-curdling screech! My brother took off like a rabbit, but I knew I'd never out-run her. I closed my eyes and started swinging my Halloween bag with all my might.

To this day I remember hearing nothing but a high-pitched shree and feeling all my precious candy falling around my shoulders and disappearing through the cracks in the porch. At some point, I took off running. I was not pursued because the "witch" was bent over, hyperventilating with laughter.

I remember seeing her talking to my grandmother through the driver's-side window at the car, and I crept back and got in the backseat. We had to drive a few blocks before we found my brother...

So there you go! And I'd love to hear your stories... now I'm thinking this should've been a blogfest. Regardless, get out, scare some children, eat some candy, watch a scary movie, be safe. But most of all have a very, very



Candyland said...

I threw up a little when I saw Leatherface. Ugh....I love Halloween but not the scary stuff.

DEZMOND said...

great stories :) Hope this year's Halloween will bring you spooky entertainment and some crazy excitement ;)

Dawn Ius said...

awesome stories! My husband and I are crazy for Halloween - we spend more on decorations than we should, and this year will have a fully animated "graveyard" scene in the front yard, complete with a strobe light and fog machine. My only regret is that we live in a high left area and we can't really set up until Sunday morning. Wishing you a spooky and fun-filled Halloween!

Creepy Query Girl said...

LOL- I love halloween too. we had the typically neighborhood trick or treating (ers). I loved carving pumpkins, apple cider, hay rides and all that fun stuff. And yes, there were even a few times we went to a haunted house or spent the weekend in Salem (which is THE place to go at halloween time- its marvelous) But, like Candy- I can't watch horror movies for the life of me..I've got too much imagination and end up freaking myself out on a daily basis for nights to come...years even...*shutters*

Matthew MacNish said...

OMG, so NOT the Hero! What a douche. Or maybe he was just really scared? Still kind of silly.

Holly Hill said...

Oh, LTM, we could be BEST FRIENDS! Halloween is my favorite holiday too!!! <3

Unknown said...

I can't really think of any stories but I think yours are wonderfully entertaining. Thanks for stopping by my blog.


Carolyn Abiad said...

LOL -Karma, hey? Just when you think you're awesome, some crazy witch will get you!

LTM said...

LOL @CL--girl! :D bah!!!

@Dez--you too! it's such a fun holiday~

@Dawn--thanks! I LOVE those houses!!! we decorate a little, but we love going to the ones that go all out~

@Katie--Salem!!! oooo.... When we were in Indy, we got to do all those things. Here some folks do a hay maze... that's fun! :o)

@Matt--aww! The *real* hero. No, he was actually a super-sweetie everyone loved. Just also a big chicken. BAH!!! :D

@Holly--H'ween besties! :D

@C--hey, thanks! You too~

@Carolyn--no doubt. sigh. I can still feel that candy hitting my upper arms as it fell all around me... :o\ My brother = "hero" #2! lol! :D

Morgan said...

Love these stories. I adore Halloween!

Talli Roland said...

Haha! I love story number two! Sadly Hallowe'en isn't really that popular over there - they have Bonfire Day on 5th Nov where they blow things up and have fireworks.

I just noticed by book in your book montage on the sidebar! Yay! Thansk so much!

Hart Johnson said...

I fell over laughing about your burly boyfriend throwing you at the chainsaw to protect himself BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And the 'friend witch'--you're too cute! Great stories!

PK HREZO said...

Those are great stories!! I never got into Halloween as a kid either. We weren't allowed to go trick or treating til we were like twelve because it "wasn't safe."

The best Halloween I can remember, me and some neighbor kids dressed up like babies and after trick r treating, we went pool hopping thru every open screen door on the block. Such a riot! Our pillow case diapers were all sagging wet. We never got caught because all the home owners were out front handing out candy. I grew up in FLA and you could do stuff like that, October is still warm.

Halloween didn't really get good for me til I was in college and could go out on my own. lol!

LTM said...

@Morgan--me too. It's such a funny holiday. Thanks~ :o) <3

@Talli--Fireworks are fun! And heck yeah! On more month for The Hurting Game! Whoot~

@TH--sigh. Yes, I have many *snort* worthy memories w/that fellow. He was a hoot! Thanks, girl~

@P--that actually sounds fun, and very much like something my older brother would've done. We're not too far from you, but I think tomorrow the temperature is supposed to plummet--woo!!! :o) love me some spooky weather~

Vicki Rocho said...

That was fabulous. I also love Halloween. For years it was the only time they'd play those creepy (not gory) movies ala Vincent Price and Edgar Allen Poe-ish.

Now I'm too big of a wuss to watch them if they DID put them on.

Melissa said...

This was great!!

I love Halloween because it means I get to mess around with pumpkins!

Natasha said...

For someone who claims not to have done the holiday, you sure have lots of memories of it

Summer Ross said...

Great stories! Haunted houses, when I was younger I never went to one. We all told stories about them though. WE mostly did Bloody mary stuff and I always had a friend stay the night on Halloween weekend to watch scary movies all weekend.

I can't believe he threw you at the pretend chainsaw guy! LOL what a great short story that could be!

I hope your weekend is filled with tricks, and treats, and safety.

Anonymous said...

Every party has a Pooper and I am that Pooper! We go bowling on Halloween night, a tradition carried over from my childhood. Our parents took me and my three siblings bowling to keep us out of trouble. Not fair you say. As a kid, correct. As parents, there could be some wisdom to this.

Stephen Tremp

RaShelle Workman said...

Leigh - Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. *tears in my eyes, laughing on the floor, nearly peeing in my pants*. Oh man. I'm so sorry you were so scared as a child and that you lost all of your candy. It just ain't right. =D Happy Halloween!!!

RaShelle Workman said...

ps: I have an award for you on my blog.

Theresa Milstein said...

These stories were great. They ALWAYS hurt the girl.

My favorite line:

"Naturally, that meant there was a coven of witches doing Black Sabbath rituals that we had to investigate."


You should do this as a Blogfest next year.

LTM said...

@MissV--oh, I love the goofy, scary movies. But the serious ones are too scary for me! :D

@Mel: I miss pumpkins... They really don't do well here--too hot/humid = stinky pumpkin. :D

@Rayna: Well, stories #1 & 3 were me being sneaky--which added to the scare. Being bad = something bad happening... ;p

@Summer: Thanks! OMG I was always too scared to do Bloody Mary. No way. :D It was more of a position me in front of him, then PUSH! :D You have a great holiday, too~

@Stephen: You're not a pooper! Bowling can be a fun party--is it monster bowl??? ;p Have fun~

@RaShelle: No, tell me what you really think. LOL! :D yep, I was a little chicken... and Thanks! <3

@Theresa: Thanks!!! It's true. The blondes in particular get it. As for the naturally. That's me hanging out w/my older bro and all his teenage friends. They were ALWAYS looking for "situations." ;p

Robyn Campbell said...

Came to you from Theresa's Halloween Haunting. BWA HA HA HA

I don't like the super scary stuff. But I like R.L. Stine. hehe

Ella said...

Love your Halloween stories; I mentioned you on my Blog~
I almost peed my pants this year at
"Fright Night"...yeah, it was that good!

Ex-pat Odessa said...

I can't believe your college sweetie did that, I remember him - I would never in a million years have thought he would do that!

I never like the haunted houses though - too cheezy - I always laughed at them! I did however get irritated when they INSISTED on invading my personal space - that usually resulted in my pushing them, when they refused to acknowledge my repeated requests for them to please get out of my face!
I was usually left alone after that first encounter, or was hurridly rushed through the "house"! LOL!