Revision Reaction

Reaction isn't the right word for what's buzzing in my brain right now, but I wanted an alliterative title... I need Jessica's help.

What's the R word for "revision performance anxiety"? Or "complete and total revision panic attack"?

For those of you completely lost, ten days ago I got a "revise and resubmit" request from my personal top-pick agency. Like the only agency I ever wanted to query from Day 1 last year when I decided to pursue this novelist thing seriously.

But you don't just query one agency. That's crazy, right?

Still, every writer who's ever played a role in my life as a reader (or a writer) is handled by these guys, and working with them would be like... I don't know. Like the seal of approval as a novelist. Or something.

So it happened. They're giving me a shot. And ten days later, I still haven't started revising.

Oh, yes. I've made lots of notes. I've discussed it ad nauseum with crit partners and local betas and JRM. I've told them my ideas for approaching the requested changes and everyone's given helpful suggestions and been so super-supportive. ((big hugs))

And yet I sit here staring at the compuer screen. My throat's tight and it's possible my stomach has completely closed up. I can't seem to open the document...

What's the problem, right? I've worked as an editor for more than a decade. It's really not that big of a deal. Hello? Mountain? Molehill? Just do it already.

Well, I'll tell ya (as I told another crit partner who's vying for sainthood)... I'm not really sure where to begin. I mean, I've never revised a book before.

All my revisions have been on short, feature-length news stories. And that's just a matter of beefing up the lede and other things I won't bore you with here. The gist: it's pretty straightforward (and quick) work.

In this case I've been given some guidance but nothing terribly, terribly specific. And I feel very, very overwhelmed. Like throw-the-whole-thing-out-and-just-start-all-over overwhelmed.

... and well... There's this other thing...

I've been afraid to say it out loud in case somebody hears me. Come close and I'll whisper it... shh...

What if I do all this work, make all these changes, think I've got it perfect and then they come back and say, "Right. Well, nice try, thanks--Pass."

...

(gulp)

Then what?

All that time, the energy, the neglect of family/friends/house/appearance/fitness... And in the end, They passed.

In my mind, the idea of that happening is, well, it's me under the desk for a month. At the very least.

...

Okay, now that I've reread all that, I look at it and think, "Who is this person? God, what a ninny! Just shut the whining and do it already."

You never know unless you try, right? And so what? What if they do say "no thanks" after all that and pass? Nothing ventured, man. It's not about the agency, it's about my ability to tell a compelling story that people want to read. These guys don't represent King or Grisham or Rowling and they all seemed to manage just fine.

sigh.

And as my finger hovers over the "delete" key, I pause...

I know part of our blogging writers' community here is sharing this kind of stuff. So I hesitate to wipe out this pathetic mess of a post in favor of giving you something cheery and upbeat that will make you giggle.

Anybody else out there felt this way? Or feeling this way? Or got some advice for the ninny taking up space in my head?

Til Thursday... I'm opening the document now, dangit.

And if you need a giggle, here. I give you... well, I was going to give you some pining for the fjords. Instead I give you the Queen Victoria Handicap. Love~ <3

Tardy to the (Blog Hop) Party

(Sweetheart) Sheri over at Writer's Ally had this awesome idea a few weeks back for a Blog Hop where everybody would write a post dedicated to a fellow blogger who'd been particularly great and/or encouraging.

Everyone was told to post the love on Sept. 15 and it was going to be a warm, fuzzy circle of life kind of moment...

And I flippin forgot!

So today I'm sending out the B'love, and hopefully making the circle complete again. And huge apologies for being a day late. I'm also typically a dollar short.

Man, I've been thinking and thinking about who to recognize here. When I first started blogging back in February it was because I was trying to land an agent, and Janet Reid said you weren't ready to query if you didn't have a "web presence" (i.e., a blog).

So I suppose I should recognize The Shark since she is the reason I'm here.

But I don't really know her. I mean, I know she looks and sounds like Jane Lynch, but I've never had a funny Gmail chat with her and I have no idea how magical (or not) her first kiss was...

Angela was my first non-friend/family blogging buddy, and she's just the sweetest thing. Then I found Scarlett and Portia.--also supersweet. Somehow I discovered Tami's blog and was like, "Whoa." for so many reasons...

Through our birthday posts all on the same day--Hello!--the Tart "introduced" me to Rayna. And that led to my "meeting" CC.

I met Jessie through YALitChat. And a comment from Carolyn, prompted me to hop over and become an insta-fan of her supercool Burnt Amber blog. Then as crit partners, we became support partners in this wrenching journey called "trying to land an agent."

Katie made it OK to admit that since starting the query process, I've gone a little... *a'hem* crazy. And then she turned around and gave me my first piece of Blog bling... Awww! ((hugs))

From there I met Candy, DL, Jessica, Matt, Ellie, Vicki, Jen, Anne, Nicole, RaShelle... (I'm just going to stop naming names now because I don't want to leave anyone off.) And then Karen G. (the superstar) took my blog to a whole new level...

How do we find each other? How is a writer's network formed?

I see the topic blogged about a lot, so I'll give you my genius insight:  Heck, I don't know!

I just know I've met so many kind, encouraging, interesting, intelligent, hilarious, empathetic, supportive fellow writers through blogging.

So dangit all! I guess I DO have to dedicate this post to Janet Reid. Because if it hadn't been for her sharkley wisdom, I would never have met you guys.

It's possible social media fatigue is striking, but blogging buddy fatigue? No way, man. I need all you guys--you new kids, too. Thanks for your book recommendations and for keeping me encouraged and dreaming/trying/believing it can happen. Here's hoping we all get what we're looking for.

In conclusion, I would be just wrong if I didn't give a shout out to all my non-blogging readers--my friends and family--who've been here from Post 1 sending me encouragement, reading my silly thoughts, and holding their breaths/crossing their fingers for me. You guys are most dear to my heart.

Love to you all~ <3


Note: That is NOT Janet Reid, kids. That's still Jane Lynch. It's a joke. Click here if you don't get it.

Book review - Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side

You all know I started blogging in Feb. because Janet Reid said you weren't ready to start approaching agents if you didn't have a "web presence." And then she dismissed Facebook friends because you have to be a FB member and be approved to access me...

So I got to work posting *stuff* every day that I thought my friends and family might enjoy in the hopes of building a following.

(Umm... side note, if you're one of those still enjoying my blog and haven't clicked on that little grey "follow" button right down there > > >, please feel free to do so now. I promise you won't get spammed.)

OK, so I'm blogging along, then reality set in. I realized that if I'm going to be a freelance writer for two publications, write books, research agents, and pretend to be a good wife, mother and friend, there was no flippin' way I'd be able to post every day.

So I cut it down to twice a week--Mondays and Thursdays.

Then I noticed something... Unfamiliar faces among my followers. (!) So I scurried over and checked out their blogs and from there I found others. And ultimately, through comments and email exchanges, I "met" other writers who now feel like friends.

It's weird. I told JRM it reminds me of the pioneer days when people could only communicate with letters. But it's also better because now we get to see pictures, read profiles, get daily or weekly (as opposed to monthly or yearly) updates...

So not only have I gotten to know my dear friends and family better, which is wonderful, I'm meeting writers from around the world. Yay--blogging wins!

Problem is now I really do need to get back to WIP before I completely lose the spirit of the book.

But I don't wanna leave! I want to keep reading your comments here and commenting back and then visiting all the blogs I've commented on and going back and re-commenting on the comments made to my comments...

Whoa! Where'd Thursday go?

All this to say, I'm headed into the cave for a few days. Back soon--hopefully with good progress made on even newer brand new novel. (!)

Now for the promised book review + CONTEST!

One of my new blogging buddies recommended Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark side by Beth Fantaskey. And while I said a few posts back that I was feeling a little vamped out, I trusted her recommendation and picked it up.

Here's the cover image. I'm including it because I think it's so pretty. I would have totally picked this up in the store and read the back cover. Bonus: it actually portrays a real scene in the book. (!)

But the back cover blurb isn't really true to the spirit of the book, in my opinion. The main character (Jessica) is well-drawn and has a great arc, and the book has a definite mood that makes it not as high-schooley chicklit as it sounds.

To begin with, the opening scene is of Jessica alone, waiting for the bus when a mysterious fellow appears and calls her Anastasia. She's completely freaked out by it, and by the end of the day her mother's told her she's a long-lost princess (yes, the Romanovs called) and the strange guy now living above her parents' garage is her fiance by an arranged marriage.

It's actually a blood pact, and they're both vampire royalty. The conceit of this tale is that she doesn't fully become a vampire until he bites her, which he almost does a few times. (whee!)

At first, I was a little disappointed by the dialogue. Again, I felt like these were teenagers talking like grad-school students, and I was seriously getting Love at First Bite vibes every time the male lead (Lucius) spoke. But by page 60, that's all completely forgotten. (And he's Romanian royalty, so he gets a pass.)

Once the Jessica-Lucius relationship gets going, it's hard to put the book down. First you have him all insisting she embrace her identity. Then you have him all resolved to protect her by breaking the marriage pact. (She's too sheltered and sweet to rule a bunch of assasination-proned, power-hungry vampires.)

Of course by that time, she's determined that she's gotta be with her sexy vampire future husband. He gives her a toothache.

(That sounds funny, but it works.)

Fantaskey throws in some fun plot twists--for example, a competing female love interest for Lucius--which really heighten the tension, and she gives readers enough insight into the cruelty of Lucius's childhood to prove his point without being off-putting to her target audience.

I also liked the nod to Bram Stoker's Dracula provided by Lucius's letters to his uncle back home, and the ending has an element of ambiguity I think readers will dig.

Other than some very mild language (moms), it's a pretty clean read. So JGTDDS gets an A from me!

If you liked the Twilight books, it's possible you'll like this one even better. I've heard there's an epilogue floating around somewhere in cyberspace... must find that...

Now for the CONTEST!
Post a comment below, and on Tues. a.m. I'll use the random number generator to pick one lucky commentor to WIN either Caleb + Kate OR Perfect Chemistry!* (I reviewed these books in the June 24 post.)

What? You thought I was giving away my copy of JGTDDS?! I said I really liked this book.

RULES:
1-Comments have to be below this post to be counted.
2-Followers of this blog get bonus points, and are more likely to win. So click the little gray bar up there > > > to improve your odds!
3-Comments must be made by Monday, midnight to count. (OK, if you beat me up Tues. a.m., you'll be counted, but I have no idea what time that'll be.)

If you're having trouble commenting, shoot me an email, and I'll troubleshoot w/you. Google likes to make me enter my password twice sometimes when I leave comments. Like I hit "post comment" and then I have to enter my password again and hit "post comment" again. I'm sure this is to guarantee I really mean it.

*Those guys following for whom YA romance sinks your boat, we can work out an alternate prize. I'll email you and we can discuss. I have a set of ginsu knives I'm trying to unload... and the first three Charlaine Harris books... Oh, alright, and if you really want JGTDDS, we can chat. Especially if you're a good friend who lives near my house... ;o)

I'll announce the winner Tues a.m., so have fun, and thanks for playing. I won't be commenting back til after Tuesday so as not to skew the results.

Happy 4th of July!

Awesomeness and fishing

Gotta take a break from the world. Catherine and I are beside ourselves about this (use your back button to return): The new trailer for The Last Airbender movie.

The first word out of both our mouths was "Appa!" The second out of Catherine's was, "It's in 3D?"

My children haven't embraced the whole 3D movie craze. As a result, I haven't seen a 3D movie yet either... Here's the deal: a few years back Monsters v. Aliens came out in 3D. (I think it was one of the first for kids.)

Well, a mommy friend of mine called and wanted us to do a girls movie date to see it. That was cool, I was onboard. I love, love, love the movies, right?

Laura dug her little heels in and said "NO!" She was literally offended at the suggestion. But not because it was in 3D. Laura's like me as a little kid--she likes to sleep. And it only took one scary movie for me/her to realize that hiding under the covers in the dark shivering for three weeks straight was no way to spend your nights.

I said Monsters v. Aliens to Laura, and she looked at me like I was a monster. Or an alien. So we agreed she'd stay home with Daddy and watch Kipper or Angelina Ballerina.

Catherine definitely wanted to go, but I can't remember why she didn't. She might've gotten sick--it was first grade. They still get sick a lot at that age. But the rest of the gang went, and after it was over, word got back that one of the little girls had left the theater and thrown up afterwards.

Her mom said it was because during the movie, this tiny six year-old (she really is the littlest of the girls) had consumed her popcorn, her neighbor's popcorn, a box of gummies, a whole Sprite... you get the picture.

Made no difference to Catherine. She lives her little life by a strict "no vomiting" philosophy. (I'm onboard with that, considering I'm the clean-up crew.)

No amount of reasoning would convince her that her buddy had just eaten too much junk food. Nope. It was the 3D. Catherine actually left another friend's birthday party because it culminated in watching Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs in 3D.

I'm almost relieved M. Night gave us an out. Because while we LOVE the animated Nickelodeon TV show Avatar: The Last Airbender (upon which the movie's based) and we have every episode on DVD, I've said before it's one thing to see Koh, the face-stealing spirit, as a cartoon. It's a whole nother to see it in real life. And a whole nother to see it in 3D.

Still, for me July 2 can't get here fast enough. I might have to sneak off with Aunt Dara and the boys to see it... whee!

And what's all this about fishing? Well, let me tell you. It's about Brand New Novel.

There have been times in my agent search when I've been discouraged. I've said I wasn't doing it anymore, it was stupid, why was I wasting my time, I was tired of it, I didn't really care if I never got published, etc., etc., etc.

At the risk of driving away ALL my friends, I've tried to keep these moments to myself as much as possible. Only poor Richard has to hear it. Oh, and my mom.

My sweet mom has been so great. She listens and has no idea what I'm talking about half the time, but every time she says the following: "It's just like fishing. You've just gotta keep casting and one of these times you're going to catch a big fish."

Well, reader friends, I caught The Shark.
...

I'm trying to be philosophical about it. It doesn't matter if she comes back and says "no thanks." Now I know I have a query letter for BNN that will result in a full manuscript request from a veteran, top agent.

I'm also trying to apply Catherine's "no vomiting" philosophy. I've got 59 days to go.

My uncle Kelly's a welder. When he was in his late 20s-early 30s, he worked on offshore oil rigs in the Gulf, and they used to deepwater fish from the platform. He caught a shark once... It was delicious.

More soon~

P.S. Hey, Locals! The Hangout is donating all profits from this weekend's music/art festival to oil spill relief. Click here for more info.