Friday, February 19, 2010

Silence is Golden

No it's not. Silence sucks. It also blows. It's a freak of nature. And it especially blows when you're waiting to hear back about how fabulously awesome Debut Novel is...

I know, I know. I've read the writers' self-help blogs. Publishing is a waiting game. You have to be patient and learn to take no news as good news. (insert exclamation point)

But you see, I'm a talker. I really like to chat chat chat, primarily about me me me and how great my book is.

I got so bored yesterday I queried O. J. Berman.

Yep, I did! I'm sorry!

Who's he, you ask? He's the agent who is (writing) world-renowned for his fast response to queries. The man LIVES in front of the computer screen. (Says the girl who hasn't showered today.)

I think he was looking for some legal thriller or a noir mystery to turn into a movie. That was close enough for me, so I shot him my letter. He shot me back a very nice "not really what I'm looking for," but it took him ALMOST THREE HOURS!

You're slippin, O. J.

I know, that's not the way to break into publishing. That's the way to end up on Gawker.

I know I said I was mending my bull-in-the-publishing-china-closet ways (see Debut Post). But it's hard. It's super hard. And what's even super hardest about it is that my real job, my actual paying gig, requires me to sit here in front of this dang laptop writing articles for the paper or updating (Yep, that's me that got your name wrong, Elsanor School!)

So I can't just get out and do something else. And every time slows or I'm waiting for a picture to download, that little G-mail icon is right there staring at me, begging me to click it and see if some agent has written back to agree that Yes, I've done it! I've written the best work of commercial YA fiction to date, and he/she has my six-figure, multi-book deal all polished up and ready for my signature!

I was researching potential YA agents on a great blog for such things the other day (, and I read this great bit of advice from one of them: "Don’t act crazy. It’s harder than you think, but agents hate crazy people."

That actually made me LOL! In a crazy-laugh sort of way.

It reminded me of Pee Wee's Big Adventure and the meeting in PW's basement where he's got the little model of the shopping mall and he's saying, "Some questions get answered, others appear. It's like a giant sweater that someone keeps knitting... he-he-and knitting... he-he-and knitting..."

OK, I'm meeting a friend for lunch. Hopefully she won't have me committed.

Final thought: If you didn't get the agent joke, I have a homework assignment. First, google "O.J. Berman." Next, go to your local video store (or get on Netflix)...  Last, enjoy!


Ex-pat Odessa said...

Dude, remember us little people when you're all famous and rubbing elbows with the Hollywood Glitter-azzi!

LTM said...

(can you hear my crazy-laugh in Romania? ;o)

Ex-pat Odessa said...

yes I can! I have the same crazy-laugh. We came out of the same gene pool - those darn Aaron's!!!